It's A Boy!

I am filled with so much joy! Nothing can ruin my moment as a mommy-to-be!

Regrets

My main regret now that the baby is on the way is not putting my degree to good use. I was mainly worried about money then happiness and now I have to deal with the consequences. I wish I would have searched harder for a job that was more stable, offered benefits and made me happy. Then I wouldn't have to worry about what will happen after the baby is here. If I were to continue my search after the baby, I feel like I would have to limit myself now because I will have a family to think about. Everyone tells me, "Right now, in this economy, at least you have a job". Maybe I should think of it in those terms and be grateful for what has been put in front of me. However, better believe if I have to stay locally in the next upcoming years that I will be on my way to a T.V. producer.

Family Values

Almost 18 weeks and the bump has sprouted out of no where in the last week. My aunts love to make fun of me, because unlike them I have no idea what it is like to be really big so I am complaining, being lazy, and using pregnancy as an excuse. I think it is a perfect excuse :)  They say I have no idea. I told them I was going to try to be as natural as I can, but they said "Don't try to be brave for anyone. Take the epidural". My grandmother, on the other hand, wants me to suffer and go through the pain. Not out of spite, but so I can see what it feels like and maybe not want another one. My aunts said that didn't stop my mother after me. lol. They are crazy. :)

My youngest aunt and uncle have told me they would adopt my child if I am not ready and my grandmother and other uncle have said the same thing. It won't happen, but to know had I been younger in a more stressful situation that they would do that for me and the baby makes me happy. I love them. Despite their sarcastic remarks they love me and are there for me. AND now, they will be there for the baby too. This baby will have nothing to worry about. My baby will feel so much love and I am so grateful of that.

I know I will be very happy with my little family. Ram has shown me so much and continues to prove to me how much my worth is. I can't describe how happy he makes me. And in the past couple of months, I have been very confident in knowing he is going to be a great daddy. I can't wait to start the next chapter in our lives.

16 weeks and counting

This Friday I will be going to my 3rd doctor visit. I think they will be doing a 3-D scan of the baby to see if the baby's lip is forming okay. We have a history of cleft pallets in my family and the doctor just wants to check. However, I have yet to get a sonogram picture that I can take home and after talking to a lot of people they said they had one their first visit. :( Well, I am going to ask for one and maybe they will be able to tell if it is a boy or girl. Or twins....if not then I'll have to wait another month.

I feel like the growth of the baby is happening so fast. I am 16 weeks and according to my time-line, I should be able to feel the baby kick soon....? I am not even that big. One of my friends told me its not real to her until she sees my stomach fully grown. I understand that. It is kind of how I feel. I don't know how I'll be able to feel the baby kick if I am barely able to see a stomach. I am naive. I know this, but it is still so unreal to me. I wonder all the time who the baby will look like. Both sides have pretty strong genes. I really hope the baby comes out looking like Ram so I can fall in love all over again especially if it is a boy. Will the baby have my Chinese eyes? His dimples? My nose? his smile? Whatever the baby will look like, I just hope he/she's healthy.

I start to see myself get excited day after day. I can't wait for the little one to get here. He/she has no idea how much they are already loved by so many. :)